About This EP

All songs on this EP are about an internal tension in men.

Loverboy is a song I wrote to myself. Usually the word loverboy refers to a playboy / ladies man— but I wanted to reclaim it for a different, more literal interpretation: I call myself a loverboy because I possessed by a desire for love but often feel uncertain of whether I’m deserving of it. Loverboy opens by acknowledging the world is sad. It's easy to stay in bed. It closes by urging me on: Steve, there's still so much in the world for you.

Still In Love With You is about seeing a broken world and still feeling in love with it.

I think part of what it feels like to be a man is to want to project strength and confidence while inwardly managing self-doubt. I wanted to Manhood to be about that. So the narrator in the song swings between confident swagger and swarming self-doubt.  

Obscene is about an isolating anger. It’s about wanting to hurt the world because you feel unwelcomed in the world.

Bert McKinley shot and directed two videos for Manhood (#1 and #2). I choose the mask for the videos because I thought it had swagger and confidence— and yet anyone can see it’s just a mask. Which means there’s something silly and posed about it all.

Lyrics

Loverboy

Called you up at 8:15
I could feel it bend and break
I’m tired of everything gone new
I’m tired of the human race

Fell back in a sleep again
I could feel it slip away
I’m tired of everything gone new
I’m tired of the human race

And if I make it back tomorrow
Please let your light be the signpost
Loverboy, there’s so much here for you.
Loverboy, there’s so much here for you.

Still In Love With You

I can feel the ground shifting underneath me
I can see it leaking in through the ceiling
Word by word, clap by clap, its a growing sound
Face to face, heart to heart, its all around
And I can feel the source draining to it’s empty
And I can feel it building up through the century
Life by life, day by day, I can feel it now
Piece by piece, night by night, it’s coming down

Heavens perfect dream
Is falling apart
Tearing at the seams
Broken from the start
Pulling at the roots
I miss you so much

The world was born when a great god shattered
Broke in a thousand pieces, and was scattered
Left alone, the lonely pilgrim gathers
Piece by piece, petals to a lost flower
I’m not a fool I can see what’s in front of me
Coming up through the soil of fallen trees
Life by life, day by day, I can feel it now
Piece by piece, night by night, it’s coming down

Heavens perfect dream
Is falling apart
Tearing at the seams
Broken from the start
Pulling at the roots
I miss you so much

Manhood

Hotel 
Midnight 
Liquor loose 
Out of sight 
Empty mind 
Smash the night 
Confusion too 
It lives in you

I’m strong enough to run 
With the bulls in the streets 
Cause I’m like that, I’m like that 
Speeding through the century 
With my mind on the future 
Nothing gets through my head

Don't lose faith 
in a good life 
in photos with friends 
in love affairs 
Don't lose faith 
in yourself 
it’s all for you 
for no one else

I could drink the world dry 
With an appetite like mine 
Cause I’m like that, like that 
I could step up to the chaos 
Then pull myself away 
It’s just easy to me

Don’t lose faith 
in good food 
in easy love 
it’s all for you 
Don’t lose faith 
in the light above 
the promise of 
each rising sun

Forgive me love 
I’ve become lost 
I’m not as strong as I should be 
Scared you’ll find out 
Scared you’ll see 
That I’m not as strong as I should be

Liquor time 
Cynical 
Easy love 
Indisposed 
Black dress 
Slung low 
Confusion too 
It lives in you

I can do it my own 
I’m not scared to be alone 
Cause I’m strong as they come 
I’m a big man, you can see my head pushes out 
through the ceiling 
of my five-floor, full home

Don't lose faith 
in the good life 
in photos with friends 
in love affairs 
Don't lose faith 
in yourself 
it’s all for you 
for no one else

Forgive me love 
It’s happened again 
I don’t know why I frighten 
The light has left my world again 
And I’m retreating away from you 
Wish I could put my head in your lap 
(You don’t know me, I don’t know me) 
And ask you to tell me comforting things 
(You don’t know me, I don’t know me) 
Should keep my chin held up and high 
But I’m not as strong as I should be 
Cause I’m tired 
I’m tired 
Cause I’m tired 
And I’m tired 
Cause I’m tired 
I’m tired 
Cause I’m tired 
And I’m tired

Obscene

My blood bleeds blue
But I don't fall for you
My red heart true
When I call to you

I was in New York on a holiday
Pissing off the top of tall buildings
I didn’t care who was watching
I was ugly and I was obscene
Millions and millions
Billions and billions
I was just waiting
They were pretending
I could just be alone
I never know
How far will this thing go

I was caught and they carried me
All the way up to the dead devil tree
Hoisted me up so everybody could see
They'd let me dangle and throw shit at me
Humiliation
Civilization
I can't be them
And they can't be me
I could just be alone
I never know
But this is how it goes

I'm the only ever
Lonely and obscene

I dreamed a dream
I was in Hollywood, I was obscene
They put a point subliminally
I put a sign in the sky there to see
Millions and millions
Billions and billions
I was just waiting
They were pretending
I just never knew
How far to go
But this is how I know
Hit me with a switch constantly
Cut from the body of a red devil tree
I didn't hoot, holler or make a scene
Just let it raise chaos in me
Humiliation
Civilization
I can't be them
And they can't be me
I’ve always been alone
It’s what I know
And this is how the story goes
Why should I stay here?
Knocking at your door
How many ways can I fall from you?
Remake and rebuild
Make a man out of me
How many ways can I fall from you?